Maturing in Conflict Management – Start with Heart

None of us can fully avoid conflict, whether at work or in our everyday lives. I have come to believe that no single training course or quick read from books can make someone an expert in conflict management. They are certainly helpful, but mastery comes from a process of learning, practicing, and reflecting on how we engage with others.

Different Roles, Different Needs

In the healthcare and life sciences industries, I have worked alongside professionals from diverse backgrounds:

• A biomedical engineer who relies on scientific and technical know-how to solve problems.

• A medical scientific liaison who communicates clinical data to healthcare professionals and hospital stakeholders.

• A medical representative who bridges the technical and the practical, helping clinicians and staff translate data into actionable care.

Each role brings unique skills, and their contributions are based on their unique strengths. The real challenge often lies in aligning these perspectives. Can there be a middle ground where technical rigor, scientific dialogue, and practical support converge? Is “win-win” truly possible during high stakes moment?

I believe it can be—when we start with the heart.

Steps Toward Better Conflict Management

Over years of working with world-class organizations and preparing training programs that integrate executive coaching and experiential learning, I’ve reflected on some practical steps as below. At the heart of this process are curiosity and compassion—emotions that open pathways to next-level dialogue.

• Identify the Core Issues: Like peeling an onion, uncover conflicts layer by layer. Asking questions such as “How might we…?” or “What’s stopping us…?” helps surface root challenges and barriers. Challenge Map by Dr Basadur is highly recommend by my dear friend Peter Nixon.

• Acknowledge Filters in World View: We all perceive the world through personal filters. Tools like strength-based self-assessments reveal our intent and help us recognize differences, making dialogue more constructive.

• Expand Dialogue Skills: Adopting a dialogue methodology can transform conversations. Skills like being present, showing respect, expressing clearly, suspending judgment, and absorbing viewpoints (P.R.E.S.A from Potential Dialogue) can be practiced and improved continually.

• Engage in Structured Dialogue: My suggested approach is:

  • Frame the situation -> Ask and mirror -> Seek options ->  Offer support -> Adapt other dialects -> Explore emotions

• Commit to Accountability: Clarify roles, responsibilities, and timelines intentionally. Recognize uncertainties and challenges but approach them collaboratively rather than in silos or through aggression.

What about Ai?

Generative AI tools such as ChatGPT can position as our sparring partners for scenario-building, reframing, and idea generation. While they cannot validate reality, they can help us expand perspectives if prompts are designed thoughtfully. Still, the real preparation lies in our own capacity to initiate and hold meaningful dialogue.

My Approach

My conflict management training integrates executive coaching practices, experiential learning, and more than 20 years of corporate experience across the Asia Pacific. This combination has shaped a pragmatic approach that balances process, empathy, and accountability.

If your organization is seeking to mature in conflict management skills—starting with the heart—I’d be glad to explore how I can support your journey. Reach out via LinkedIn or through my website for a conversation.

AI Acknowledgement: The author generated all original ideas and initial writing independently, with AI supporting the formatting of these insights into an article.

References

• Bolton, R. (2009). People Skills. Simon and Schuster.

• Daoust, P. (2020). Conflict at Work: A Toolkit for Managing Your Emotions for Successful Results. Maplewheat Publishing.

• Fisher, R., Ury, W.L., & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin.

• Fisher, R., & Ury, W. (2014). Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People. Random House. John Wiley & Sons.

• Nixon, P. (2012). Dialogue Gap: Why Communication Isn't Enough and What We Can Do About It, Fast.